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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27676468">Filmographic Recollections and Lost Love Confessions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/merely_indifferent/pseuds/merely_indifferent'>merely_indifferent</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode: s02e06 Epidemiology, Episode: s02e24 A Few Paintballs More, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:21:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27676468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/merely_indifferent/pseuds/merely_indifferent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Troy couldn’t help feeling there was something else, something he had missed or forgotten, but couldn’t put his finger on. It was like they were in their own two-planet orbit around a black hole, neither of them knowing what hid beyond the event horizon.</p><p>(In which Troy is Abed's Leia during the paintball game, and certain memories of a Star-Wars-style love confession come to light)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Filmographic Recollections and Lost Love Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the first fic I've ever been able to finish and write well enough to publish, so thanks to those who inspired this idea and painstakingly edited my first draft into a final product. Wlwerewolves, this one's for you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Whatever, princess I ain’t in it for your revolution. I’m in it for me.”</p><p>Troy and Abed stood at the helm of Greendale’s remaining forces. The students made a pretty abysmal sight: tired, grumpy, and more than a little annoyed with Abed’s insistence on the Star Wars theme, despite how well the homage fit their dire situation. Troy and Abed had put forth a plan to unite against City College’s fake ice cream company and save what was left of their school. But now Abed was dissenting too, leaving Troy alone to pitch the plan. His confidence wavered with the sudden change in Abed’s tone and the cocky lean to his posture.</p><p>“Wait, Abed, this was your idea.”</p><p>Abed dropped the smirk, his face back to his usual blank slate, except for an excited glint in his eyes. Abed leaned into Troy, his voice dropping so only Troy could hear.</p><p>“I know, but I’m calling dibs on the Han Solo role before Jeff slouches into it by default.” Abed stood closer to Troy than he usually would, so close that Troy could see the light dusting of freckles across Abed’s nose. Troy blanked for a moment, unmoving, before his brain caught up and processed what Abed had said.</p><p>“Hold on. Princess?”</p><p>“Yeah. You’re Leia,” Abed said in his matter-of-fact voice, like it was obvious. He was still oddly close to Troy, but he broke the proximity as he turned to say something to Star Burns, which Troy was still too dazed to hear.</p><p>“Oh,” he breathed. He and Abed had no problem playing girls – Abed actually had a little make-up kit in his dorm for the various love interests they’ve taken on in the name of an homage, and Leia <em>was</em> awesome. Abed had just caught him off guard. Troy would expect Abed to choose Annie as his Leia, allowing Troy to take the role of Lando, or even Luke. But before Troy could question Abed’s casting decisions any further, Abed was at his side again, looking at him expectantly, a black vest draped around his shoulders that smelled acutely like Star Burns.</p><p>Deciding he trusted Abed, Troy lifted his chin, set back his shoulders, and fell into the character of Leia Organa. A small grin grew on Abed’s face.</p><p>Shirley piped up, her tone dangerously sweet. “Question: how long is the game gonna last? Andre’s home with the baby.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Shirley, but I need you here,” Troy answered, channeling Leia’s calm yet stern leadership. “I can’t afford to lose a single soldier.”</p><p>“Oh, so now you’re in charge,” came Jeff’s sardonic drawl from the back of the room.</p><p>But Troy and Jeff’s power struggle was cut short when a paint-laden drone careened into the room. The Greendale students scattered, racing for protection. Troy and Abed vaulted behind an overturned table. Troy grimaced when he heard the paint explode, preparing for pink to rain down upon the ragtag group of rebels, but no paint came.</p><p>In the absence of paint, Troy noticed the presence of Abed’s body against his. Abed had pulled Troy’s body into his own, a protective arm curled around Troy’s waist, keeping Troy’s back flush with Abed’s chest. God, he had forgotten just how <em>strong</em> Abed was. Troy could feel Abed’s heart beating against his, and he dimly wondered if Abed could tell just how fast Troy’s heart was racing. Abed loosened his grip and gave him a quick wink, before standing up to assess the damage. Troy’s heart skipped a beat.</p><p>The adrenaline was really getting to him.</p><p>Troy joined Abed at the front of the room, where he knelt over a dying Magnitude, attempting to spit out one last phrase. Troy fell to his knees beside Abed.</p><p>“Pop what, Magnitude? Pop what?” But it was too late for the one-man party.</p><p>Abed grimaced, before standing to address the students. “Man down."</p><p>As they were grieving, Jeff had picked up the detonated drone. He spoke to a voice on the other end.</p><p>“I’m glad to hear there’s paperwork involved. Because we are gonna win, and you are gonna pay.” He tossed the drone aside. “Greendale Human Beings, it is now clear that we have no choice but to team up and defeat City College. I also have no choice but to accept the role thrust upon me.”</p><p>“And what role would that be?” Troy challenged.</p><p>“No time to squabble, Troy.”</p><p>“Hey.” Abed’s stance was casual, with his arms loosely crossed over his chest, but his voice was dead cold. “That’s Senator to you, hot-shot.” Troy felt something rush through his body. Damn, Abed was a good actor.</p><p>Jeff rolled his eyes. “You guys, we don’t have time for your dumb Star Wars spoof, we need to be focused and organized and–”</p><p>“Oh for crying out loud,” Annie exclaimed. “Cut the bantha crap you guys. Let’s kick some bucket-headed ass.” As the Greendale students charged from the room, Annie gave an excited thumbs-up to Troy and Abed, proud of her slang. Clearly, she had paid attention during their Star Wars marathon a couple weeks earlier.</p><p>Left alone in the room, Troy inhaled, about to thank Abed for his support, but Abed placed a delicate finger over his lips. “Don’t let it go to your head, sweetheart.”</p><p>Two could play at the banter game, Troy thought. “Look who’s talking.” He raised an eyebrow, and left Abed – Han – to follow behind. But with his back turned as he marched from the room, he didn’t see the way Abed’s eyes followed him all the way out the door.</p><hr/><p>Troy, Abed, and Annie crept down a hallway, maintaining a vigilant ear for approaching troopers. The Greendale rebels had heard rumors of a paint supply hidden somewhere in that hallway, and now the trio searched desperately for the much-needed ammo. Annie kicked open a door, revealing several tubs of orange paint. She turned to the boys. “Jackpot.”</p><p>Troy and Annie moved towards the paint, but Abed held Annie back as Troy began pulling on the cart where the paint rested.</p><p>He heard Abed say, “Annie, we need someone to keep watch.” This prompted a small scoff from Annie, but she didn’t try to argue. Abed stepped into the closet. Troy glanced up and saw Annie peering back at them, a strange look on her face, before she turned around, a finger poised above the trigger of her blaster.</p><p>“Here. Help me with this,” Troy said, still struggling with the weight of the cart.</p><p>Abed’s arms snaked around his waist from behind, gentle and warm, but extremely unhelpful with moving the paint.</p><p>“Sure thing, your worship,” he murmured in Troy’s ear, and then there was Abed’s heartbeat again, slightly faster than normal. Troy felt his own pick up as well, except this time, there was no imminent threat of death to blame it on.</p><p>People liked to comment on Troy and Abed’s closeness, and while it once bothered him, Troy had grown a lot since then. He felt no need to defend himself against people who were clearly just jealous.</p><p>Troy had never known anyone like Abed, who laughed at his jokes and held him without judgement when he cried at <em>Love, Actually</em>. And while Abed rarely voiced his emotions, Troy knew he felt the same awe. But he couldn’t help feeling there was something else, something he had missed or forgotten, but couldn’t put his finger on. It was like they were in their own two-planet orbit around a black hole, neither of them knowing what hid beyond the event horizon.</p><p>And now, with Abed’s arms around him, but both of them pretending to be someone they’re not, that darkness seemed even deeper. Not knowing how else to respond, Troy tapped into Leia for support.</p><p>“Han, your flyboy antics aren’t helping me move this paint.” He turned around to face Abed, trying to break his grip. But Abed kept his hands clasped behind Troy’s back, trapping Troy against his body so their noses were just inches apart. Troy knew from the soft reassurance beneath Han’s smirk that he could ask Abed to drop the act at any time. He also knew he wasn’t going to ask at all.</p><p>“Come on. Admit it. You like it.” Okay, Abed should <em>not</em> look this good in Star Burns’ ratty jacket, but his confidence definitely helped pull it off. Troy just gaped, trying to come up with a witty comeback, when Annie’s voice chimed in from the hallway.</p><p>“Hurry up, you two. This rebellion isn’t going to fight itself.” She stuck her head into the closet, her face softening at their position. “Han giving you a hard time, Leia?” Annie was really laying into the Star Wars thing, and Troy loved her for it.</p><p>“Nothing I can’t handle.”</p><hr/><p>With the paint mission complete, Troy, Abed, and Annie joined the rest of the students around a map of Greendale’s campus. Jeff, of course, grappled to secure a leadership position by pitching his plan to charge the machine gun.</p><p>“That’s not how I would proceed.” Troy leaned against the table to convey more confidence than he had.</p><p>Jeff laughed without any humor. “Troy-” a small cough from Abed. “Leia, whatever, do you happen to have a better plan?” Paintball kind of brought out the worst and best in Jeff, Troy thought.</p><p>“I do happen, Jeff. I happen very much.” Jeff raised a sarcastic eyebrow. Not backing down, Troy paused to make sure he had everyone’s attention. “We use sneak attacks to draw their patrols to the library, where one of us will pull the fire alarm, activating the sprinklers, which I will have rigged using my super plumbing skills to shower everything in the building with paint.”</p><p>Jeff started to protest, when Garrett interrupted, his voice breaking into a higher register on every other word. “I won’t take orders from Troy because Jeff is more popular.”</p><p>“Watch it, quasar-face.” Abed aimed his blaster at Garrett, his tone low and threatening. “Senator Organa is your superior. So listen up or you’ll be floating home.”</p><p>Jeff seized his opportunity to jump back into the debate. “This is stupid. Sprinklers? Really?”</p><p>Troy countered, pointing out the ridiculousness of charging a machine gun. The room dissolved into a heated argument.</p><p>Several shots rang out, causing everyone to stop and look at Annie, her gun still raised towards the ceiling. “I have something to say,” she declared. “Okay. I think we should split the troops in half and carry out both plans simultaneously.” As she described her plan, Troy had to admit it was a lot smarter than anything he or Jeff could have come up with on their own. Unlike Jeff, paintball only brought out the coolest in Annie.</p><p>The group split up, with the majority of the students following Jeff to the courtyard, and just a few staying behind to execute Troy’s half of the plan. Abed took his position at Troy’s right, and the rest circled around them, waiting for instruction. An encouraging hand found its way to Troy’s lower back, and he nodded to Abed in thanks.</p><p>“Han and I will go alone to rig the paint system, since a smaller group is less noticeable. The rest of you, spread out near the library. I’ll give the signal to attack once the paint is ready, but get out of there as soon as you've got the troopers' attention. I don’t need any heroes today. Once we’ve all retreated to the study room, Shirley will pull the fire alarm, and we’ll evacuate before anyone gets killed. Are we clear?”</p><p>The students affirmed the plan and left to assume their positions. Troy and Abed crept into the library alone, a jug of paint in tow on a hand truck from a janitor’s closet, along with a clear tube they picked up from a chemistry classroom. If the timing went right, Troy and Abed could rig the paint system before any troopers descended on the library and killed them both.</p><p>“I know there’s an access point to the plumbing in the library basement,” Troy mused as he pushed the hand truck carefully down a deserted hallway. “But I’m not sure where the basement is. Keep an eye out for a stairwell. It’s around here somewhere.”</p><p>Abed found the stairwell incredibly fast, despite never using it before. “There?” he asked, pointing to a labelled door.</p><p>“Bingo.” They eased open the door, and Abed surveyed the hallway one last time, checking for troopers.</p><p>“Wait,” Abed said, and there it was - the sound of boots shuffling on cheap linoleum. Then, they heard an intercom from around a corner, a good distance down the hallway.</p><p>“We have some rebels cornered down here, trying to escape into the basement.” A trooper patrol. Small, and mostly poor shots, but still dangerous.</p><p>“Go, go, go,” Abed urged, as Troy’s eyes widened. Abed turned his back on the hallway and helped Troy carry the paint down the stairs as the troopers turned the corner. The heavy stairwell door closed before the troopers could reach them, but they didn’t have much time before the troopers pursued down the stairs. The pair of rebels hurried as fast as they could with the heavy paint, until they reached the bottom of the stairwell, locking the door behind them.</p><p>Not wasting time, Troy and Abed set the jug of paint next to an exposed pipe. Troy pulled a wrench out of his pocket, channeling his super plumbing skills while Abed kept a close eye on the locked door, gun in hand. A dreadful pounding echoed off the walls as the troopers tried to force open the door. But the pounding stopped just as violently as it started, and the basement fell into deadly silence.</p><p>Troy glanced up from where he was working. Abed was shuddering.</p><p>“Do you think they’re gone?”</p><p>Abed pressed his lips together. “I don’t know. They might come back.” He scanned the dark basement. “I have a bad feeling about this.”</p><p>Normally, Troy would smile at Abed’s perfect reference, but he knew exactly what Abed meant. The basement was cold, and his hands shook as he tightened the screw around the tube, securing it into place. It wasn’t just the creepy feeling of anticipation before a jump scare. It was the entire aura of the basement. It was a dizzying sense of déjà vu that made Troy feel sick. It was the black hole expanding between them, threatening to consume them both.</p><p>“Abed.” Troy said his name as a complete sentence, hardly paying attention to Han and Leia’s disappearance. Suddenly overwhelmed by an irrational fear of losing Abed, he needed to make sure Abed was still breathing, even though he was two feet from Troy, looking rattled but very much alive. Troy picked himself off the floor, the paint successfully rigged into the sprinkler system, and closed the distance between himself and Abed. He found Abed’s hand with his own, nothing he hadn’t done a thousand times before, but Abed returned his touch by pulling him closer until Troy’s head was tucked into Abed’s shoulder. The gesture surprised him. It wasn’t that Abed avoided touch. He just didn’t initiate it so strongly, at least when he was himself and not a character. They stood like that for a few moments, holding each other together.</p><p>“Abed,” Troy started, but a thundering bang against the locked door cut him off. He pulled away and looked incredulously at Abed as the bang came again, different than the pounding from before. “Do they have a battering ram?” This was getting out of hand.</p><p>“Shit,” Abed muttered. Abed didn't curse often, but on the list of scenarios that demand an expletive, impending paintball death at the hands of a falsified ice cream company was certainly towards the top. He searched for another way out. “There’s another door, over there.”</p><p>Troy shook his head. “There could be more troopers waiting behind it for all we know.”</p><p>Abed squinted. “There. A window.” Troy followed his pointed finger to a small window high in a corner opposite to them. “If we climb that fence, we can hoist each other up the wall and squeeze through. We might be able to make it back to the study room from there.”</p><p>Troy motioned for Abed to help push a dusty shelf in front of the exposed pipe, hoping it would conceal the paint system. They ran for the fence, Abed climbing over first. When Troy's feet hit solid ground on the other side, Abed was already poised to hoist him up. Troy grabbed onto a pipe stretching across the ceiling and swung his legs through the window.</p><p>As he reached a hand down to Abed, a loud shatter from across the basement sent rattling vibrations through the fence. The troopers had broken down the door.</p><p>He panicked, hand still extended to Abed below, but Abed's expression was calm. He set his jaw.</p><p>"Go."</p><p>"What? Abed, let's go. Take my hand."</p><p>"I can barely reach you, Troy. You can't pull me up. Someone needs to make it out of here."</p><p>"Abed, I'm not-"</p><p>"Troy-"</p><p>"<em>Goddammit</em>, Abed, I'm not gonna leave you this time!" Troy was shouting, and he didn't know why he was shouting, but the footsteps across the basement drowned out any thought that didn't concern saving Abed. Troy's eyes latched onto a blue wooden box in a corner. "Move that," he said, pointing. The footsteps were getting closer. "Climb up."</p><p>Abed hesitated. His eyes looked glassy and distant. But a beat later, as if waking up from a dream, Abed dropped his strange calm and followed Troy's direction. He shoved the large box beneath the window, only slightly straining against its weight. He climbed onto the box, and grasped Troy's outstretched hand. Troy pulled Abed through just as troopers reached the fence and opened fire.</p><p>Troy's vision went blue-white in the sun, and his balance faltered, but Abed was already on his feet with Troy in tow. He switched Troy's hand from his right to his left so they could run side by side, never losing contact with Troy's skin. Abed kept both of them in motion, sprinting along the outside wall of the library and around to the back door near the study room, where City College sent fewer patrols.</p><p>Abed placed one hand over his gun and used the other to crack the door. It was mostly quiet within the library, but they could hear patrols moving down hallways and giving each other directions. On Troy’s signal, the Greendale rebels would launch the sneak attacks to lure more troopers to the library. If that went according to plan, the last step was retreating to the study room and evacuating through the vents before Shirley pulled the fire alarm.</p><p>Waiting for Abed to slip through the door, Troy felt only half present, like he lost his brain somewhere down in the basement. He heard Abed’s decision to stay behind over and over again in his head, and his own desperate voice echoing against the basement walls. Troy could barely keep himself on his feet, much less shoot his way through the library. He drew his gun anyway. Even shaking and exhausted, he'd still follow Abed into hell.</p><p>But Abed pulled his hand out from the door, and his arms fell loose at his sides. He looked at the ground. Troy knew the gears were turning in Abed's head from the way his gaze drifted in and out of focus.</p><p>“What did you mean back there?” Abed almost whispered, his voice slow, careful.</p><p>Troy blinked, and the basement flashed against his eyelids. “What are you talking about?” It was more of a statement. Troy knew what Abed wanted to understand. He just didn’t understand it himself.</p><p>“You said ‘I’m not letting you go this time’, but you’ve never had to let me go.” Abed's words flowed faster now, although his voice remained quiet. “We’ve never even been in that basement.”</p><p>He lifted his head to look at Troy, and Troy gasped slightly at the fear in Abed’s usually gentle eyes. Troy didn’t know which was worse - Abed’s stoicism in the basement, or the wild emotion he saw now.</p><p>They both stared at each other, searching the space in between for something they couldn’t even name. Troy thought about Abed’s arm around his waist as they sheltered behind a table. Troy thought about dancing with Abed on Valentine’s Day, and placing his head on Abed’s shoulder to hide from the questioning faces of his classmates. He thought about nights in Abed’s dorm room, watching movies until they fell asleep together on the couch. His mind settled on the night of Halloween, when they watched Maramaduke and that black hole appeared inside Troy’s heart for the first time.</p><p>Maybe it was the absurdity of the paintball game, or maybe it was just stupidity, but Troy finally let himself say what they were both avoiding.</p><p>“Do you ever feel like we’re missing something? Like, something so important it changed us forever, but you just can’t remember it?” He threw his hands around as he spoke and the question tumbled out of him like water bursting through a broken damn. It somehow felt like a confession. Troy took several uneven breaths, chest heaving.</p><p>Abed was silent for a long time.</p><p>“Yes."</p><p>Troy shut his eyes and waited for the pounding in his head to subside. So he wasn’t crazy. When he opened his eyes, Abed had taken a step towards him, and away from the door. Abed’s arms still hung motionless, but his fingers twitched slightly.</p><p>Without thinking, Troy said, “It’s Halloween, isn’t it?” The second he said the words, he knew they were true. “The mass roofie. Abed...you had bite marks on your arms. We both did.” His voice trailed off, nearly inaudible. “What the hell happened?” Tears threatened to fall down his cheeks and he almost didn’t care.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Abed answered, even though it wasn’t anything near the answer they both wanted. “I already told the group the only thing I remember, but that’s just about Jeff and Britta. I can’t remember anything about us.”</p><p>Troy liked the way Abed said “<em>us</em>.” He liked the way Abed easily assumed they were together at the party.</p><p>He jumped as a small fizz of static interrupted his thoughts. Annie’s voice crackled through the intercom in his ear.</p><p>“Han, Leia, come in. We’re all waiting on your signal. Where are you? Everything okay?” She sounded worried, even through her hushed tone. Troy cursed under his breath. His squad of students were still camped out in the library, holding their positions until Troy confirmed the paint system was secured.</p><p>Annie spoke again, more urgent this time. “Troy? Abed?”</p><p>Troy put his finger to his ear. “We’re good. Just got held up by some surprise troopers.” It was only half a life. He heard a sigh of relief from Annie. “The paint is ready to go.”</p><p>Returning to the paintball war was the last thing on Troy’s mind. He would much rather turn his brain off and spend the rest of the day dreaming in Abed’s bottom bunk, maybe even with Abed there too. But he had students to lead, and a crappy community college to save. Troy wondered if this was how Jeff felt most of the time.</p><p>Shoving Halloween to the back of his mind, Troy pushed past Abed to stand in front of the door. He grabbed the handle and turned to face Abed, who looked surprised by Troy's sudden resolve. Troy thought he looked a little impressed too. Placing his finger over the intercom again, Troy said, "Annie, give the signal. You’re more of a leader than the rest of us.” Annie didn’t respond, but Troy wasn’t worried. The Greendale rebels were in good hands.</p><p>Abed approached Troy, and opened the door for him. "Right this way, Your Highness." His lips turned into a playful smirk. Just like that, Han was back.</p><p>They slipped into the hallway, prowling towards the study room. It was silent, save for the soft hum of the air vents. Then, as expected, shots broke out on the far side of the library. Their slow prowl morphed into a speed walk. They were only a short ways from the study room now. The shots grew louder, and Troy heard shouting from behind.</p><p>Checking over his shoulder, Troy saw Annie hurtle around a corner, blaster in hand. She looked a little surprised to see them, but she didn’t slow her pace. She flew in between them and didn’t look back.</p><p>“You better keep up!” she shouted, as three troopers turned around the same corner, hot on her tail. Troy and Abed glanced at the troopers, and at each other, dumbstruck. Then they broke into a sprint.</p><p>Abed locked the side door to the study room, just as Garrett and Star Burns did the same to the main entrance. Shirley popped up from behind their overturned study table, having hid in the study room as the others sought out the trooper patrols. Troy did a sweep of the students left in the room. He counted six, including himself. It didn’t look good.</p><p>The air whooshed out of his lungs as Shirley wrapped him in an enveloping hug, exclaiming “Oh, baby, what took you two so long?” She pulled back to get a better look at Troy’s face, and Troy felt a wave of love for Shirley overtake him. She was probably the only Greendale student who treated the paintball war like the game it was. And yet, when she pointed a finger at him and threatened, “You made me miss CSI. Don’t do it again,” Troy knew what she really meant. <em>“You made me worry the same way I worry for my kids. Don’t do that again.” </em></p><p>Troy squeezed Shirley’s hand in response. Then he addressed the remaining students, assuming Leia’s leadership again. “Shirley has the most important job. So before she pulls the fire alarm, I need the rest of us to evacuate through the air v-” He cut himself off when he found two legs sticking out from the vent. “Garrett!”</p><p>“I may be stuck,” came Garrett’s muffled stutter. “It’s too early to tell.”</p><p>Annie knelt behind Garrett, trying to pull him out, but it was no use. Troy’s stomach sank. He ran a hand through his hair and paced nervously across the room as his thoughts spiraled.</p><p>Always the Inspector to Troy’s Constable, Abed was at Troy’s side in seconds to catch his descent into self-blame. Abed said what Troy already knew, but his voice showed no sign of distress. “I think our only choice is to shoot our way out.”</p><p>Troy looked down at his feet, then back up at the students, who were all expecting his direction. He swallowed his anxiety. “Alright. Let’s do it.” He turned to Annie on his right. “You ready?”</p><p>Annie lifted her chin. “Go on without me. Someone needs to cover Shirley while she pulls the fire alarm. It's a good way to go out.” She kissed Troy on the cheek, and gave Abed a reassuring smile, before joining Shirley behind the table. Inclining her head with excess drama, she said, “May the force be with you.” Abed looked ecstatic, but his joy quickly dissolved into focus.</p><p>Troy backed up against the door. Out of habit, Troy reached out his hand out to Abed for their handshake, forgetting to be Leia for a second. But Abed, ever in character, took Troy’s hand and raised it to his lips, making searing eye contact. Troy knew the Star Wars movies nearly by heart and he knew it was too early in the narrative for Leia to accept Han’s advances, but he didn’t pull his hand away, locked into place by Abed’s gaze. He thought he saw something like fear, or protectiveness, flash in Abed’s features. For some reason the paintball game felt a lot more real. Remembering Abed in the basement, Troy wondered just how far Abed would go to keep him alive for the rest of the game. He thought of their conversation outside the library and his head felt muddled by all the memories he couldn’t grasp. Abed seemed to be just as lost in the clouded past as Troy. Slowly, he lowered Troy’s hand, but didn’t let go, lingering in the calm before the storm.</p><p>Someone cleared their throat, probably Shirley. Abed released Troy's hand. He nodded, and Troy kicked the door open, blasters blazing.</p><p>About a dozen troopers opened fire as soon as the rebels emerged from their hideout. But the Greendale students were better shots, and they had the element of surprise on their side. Troy and Abed darted down a side hallway and sheltered behind a barricade of desks as paintballs soared over their heads. They waited for Star Burns to join them, but he never arrived.</p><p>Britta's voice came through the intercoms. "Guys, we're dying out here!"</p><p>"We're dying too!" Troy responded. "They trapped us in a dead end." He dropped his head into his hands. "Shirley, Annie, no one's making it out of the library. You have to pull the fire alarm."</p><p>Shirley asked for Britta a few times, but Britta's voice was gone. Then Shirley went quiet too. Troy got to his feet and sent a few paintballs across the hallway, just to keep the troopers at bay so he and Abed could last a little longer. He continued shooting until his blaster clicked upon pulling the trigger.</p><p>He turned to Abed. "I'm out," he said, as Abed pulled the magazine out of his blaster.</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>Troy sighed. "Looks like this is it." He didn't say out loud how much he didn't want this to end - this little game of make believe. Because once it was over, they would have to deal with the real stuff.</p><p>Abed gave Troy a sad smile. "End of the line, princess." Troy didn't know how much of that sadness was Abed's acting, or something more. There was expectation there, too.</p><p>This was their empire-strikes-back moment, after all. One of the most iconic moments in cinematic history, never before reacted by Troy and Abed.</p><p>So why did it all feel so sickeningly familiar?</p><p>Troy knew his next line. Of course he did. <em>Just say it, just say it</em>.</p><p>Why couldn’t he say it?</p><p>Abed’s expression shifted into understanding. Then the floor disappeared, and everything came flooding back.</p><p>
  <em>ABBA’s “Waterloo” playing through gritty speakers. The Dean’s voice haunting the corridors. “Note to self, get oil changed.” People screaming, and zombies – actual zombies – everywhere, their classmates, their study group. The fight with Abed. Shirley as…someone. Dracula. More zombies. The basement, a cat screeching. “We might die down here.” Then - </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Abed’s face gazing up at him, brimming with words unsaid. Troy’s heart beating and breaking at the same time, wondering if Abed’s heart will keep beating after tonight. Realizing he’s the only one who can make sure it does. But just in case, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I love you,” breathless. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know,” still breathing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know I know I know.</em>
</p><p>“I know.” Abed was looking at Troy with wide, brown eyes. But they fluttered shut when Troy rushed forward and kissed Abed with everything he wished he hadn’t forgotten.</p><p>Abed betrayed only a split second of surprise before melting into Troy and pulling him closer with hands on his hips, gentle and desperate and warm. Troy ran his fingers through Abed's hair, and the small part of his brain that wasn't focused on the beautiful boy under his fingertips blurred through every lingering handshake, every night spent wrapped in Abed's arms to keep the nightmares away, everything that finally made sense because he loved Abed, and Abed <em>knew</em>. And as paint rained from the sky, Troy started laughing against Abed's lips, and Abed was grinning too, and everything was orange and absolutely perfect.</p><p>In Troy's opinion, Han and Leia couldn't have done it better themselves.</p><p>When the shower of paint finally stopped, Troy and Abed paused for a moment to breathe. Troy pressed his forehead to Abed's, wordlessly marveling at the magnitude of what just happened. He couldn't stop smiling.</p><p>Abed pulled back to make eye contact with Troy. "I love you too, you know."</p><p>And because Troy's brain was already so wrinkled, he just said, "What?"</p><p>"I never told you," Abed continued. "I didn't want to push you, or take you by surprise, or scare you away. But somehow, even if I didn't fully realize it, I knew you felt the same. And that night -" he cut off for a moment, thinking. "I wanted to somehow tell you all of that in what little time I had left. I hope you understood before we both forgot everything."</p><p>Troy still hadn't caught his breath. He blinked a few times. Then he said, "That was stupid. You totally could have made it out of the basement with me. And then we could have been each other's Valentine's dates instead of Mariah."</p><p>Abed was quiet. He seemed amused.</p><p>"I don't know why my brain went to Valentine's Day," Troy admitted.</p><p>And then Abed was kissing him, holding his face with two hands as if trying to place all their unsaid words between their lips. It was fiercer than before, but it soon softened into something like honey, or Annie's favorite vanilla tea. Something like home.</p><p>As they held each other close, Troy suddenly became very aware that they were both covered in very sticky paint.</p><p>"Abed, we should -"</p><p>"Yeah, we should…"</p><p>Troy felt a small thrill of excitement when he noticed how Abed's eyes trailed down his face.</p><p>"Okay, one more," he said, and Abed was already leaning in.</p><p> </p><p>In all fairness, they still made it back to the group in time to see Pierce win the paintball game for Greendale Community College.</p><hr/><p>After everyone said their goodbyes, Troy found himself on Abed's dorm room couch, with his head resting on Abed's chest. Abed combed one hand through Troy's hair, while Troy absentmindedly fiddled with the other. He walked his fingers up and down Abed's arm, wandering through comfortable silence. The TV hummed in the background.</p><p>So really, not much had changed.</p><p>Except their memories of Halloween, which now included taco-induced zombies, ABBA's greatest hits, and a love confession.</p><p>"Abed?" Troy said after a while.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>Troy took a few breaths. "I think I'm gay. I mean, I know I'm gay, and I think I've known for a while, but I didn't <em>know</em> know, you know?"</p><p>"I do." Abed squeezed his hand. "I'm proud of you, Troy."</p><p>Beaming, Troy propped himself up on one elbow and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on Abed's cheek. The worn couch let out a tired creak as he shifted his weight.</p><p>"You could really use a new couch," Troy mumbled against Abed's skin.</p><p>"Or a new place."</p><p>Troy halted his trail of kisses to look Abed in the eyes and check if he meant what Troy thought he did.</p><p>Abed must have interpreted Troy's surprise as confusion, because he clarified, "Together, I mean. A new place together. Was that wrong to say?"</p><p>"Abed, no, you're -" Troy stuttered, but he crashed into Abed before he could finish the sentence. Abed sighed, letting his lips part slightly, and Troy knew he got the message.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>these boys &lt;3 </p><p>comments/kudos are always lovely, or come find me @merely-indifferent on tumblr.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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